Emily Ricketts

Why I’m Participating in Darkness to Daylight

Challenge DV is a cause that is very close to my heart and my personal experience with DV is what lead to me participating in Darkness to Daylight. The reason myself, and my team, chose to participate in the 110km overnight run is because I know that I likely wouldn't be here today, or have made it out of my DV relationship, without the love and support of the friends and family around me. Domestic and family violence impacts so many more people than just the person in the relationship/situation. Challenging DV takes strength, resilience, leaning on the supports of those around you, trusting the hard times will pass, and remembering that life can be light again.

My Story
My personal experience with domestic violence is one that I have kept mostly very private. For a long time, the fear of repercussions, the thoughts of "it's not that bad", fear of judgement, the desire to not answer questions of "why didn't you leave", the looks of pity, the thoughts and comments of my stupidity for accepting such treatment or not leaving a situation that was so clearly unsafe, toxic, and detrimental to my health and wellbeing, were the reasons I kept so much of my life hidden and a secret for so long. But I realised that without openness, conversations, and building awareness, nothing changes. I know for me, when I started talking to the people in my world about what was going on, and what had happened, things began to change. It helped me realised that as cliche as it sounds, things really can and do get better. 

Being in a domestically violent relationship for 2 and a half years and navigating that dynamic for the good part of 4 and a half years, was, and still is, the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. When I reflect now on all that happened in those years, I regularly wonder how I lived it, how I let it play out that way. I think back on the experiences, and they almost don't feel real - but the memories, emotions, and flashbacks remind me of the very real and true times that I faced. The concept that these few years have had lifelong ramifications on my life, my relationships, and the person that I am today, is something I still find hard to comprehend.

One thing I can say is that I am so grateful to the people who supported me during that time and those who have come into my life since. The people who have only shown me love, compassion, and acceptance. I am so thankful for all of these people, as without them I am not sure I would be here today and have the safe and happy life I do. A life, that for so long, felt impossible. 

I reflect on the privilege I have of being out of this relationship and the privilege it is to be able to be safe, alive, surrounded by love and support, and that that time in my life is now a memory and not my constant reality. 

Participating in Darkness to Daylight is my way of trying to show people that no matter what the situation looks like, you are not alone, and you do not have to live a life that is unsafe. People may never understand what it is like, but they are still there to love, help, and support you.