Kym's story

25 May 2022

Kym is part of the Queensland Government's Department of Transport and Main Roads, one of our major sponsors for Darkness to Daylight.

She has generously shared her insights into some of the everyday realities of someone who is experiencing coercive control and domestic violence. She reminds us all to have the courage to speak up and to have the conversation because it might just make the difference.

Read more below - thank you so much Kym.


It’s so easy to excuse the incessant cruel and demeaning comments that undermine your confidence. It’s so easy to give in and not meet up with your friends as you would dearly love to, to avoid an argument. It’s so easy to keep your hair long and not get it cut in a style that you think might suit you better, because it’s easier than hearing a personal attack about not caring what they think. It’s so easy to spend your own hard-earned money on things for the business (and thank goodness, clothes for the kids) to avoid being accused of wasting it on frivolous things like more than one pair of nice shoes. It’s so easy to pretend to be asleep at night so you don’t need to face them, even for just a few hours. It’s so easy to try and pretend it’s ok in front of your kids, so they at least know unconditional love.

It’s so easy to convince yourself that it’s not domestic and family violence, to make excuses for their behaviour, to think that if there are no physical bruises then people won’t believe you, to blame yourself…

Bringing the conversation about domestic and family violence into the daylight is so important for so many reasons.

It could give the courage for someone to reach out and ask for support to come to terms with a relationship they entered into with many hopes and dreams has deteriorated into abuse. It could give light to challenges many people around us face, even before choosing to come to work with a purposeful mindset. It could give a deeper understanding amongst us that we all have a story to tell, we are all made up of many lived experiences, that sometimes we just don’t know what is behind someone’s behaviour, reaction or calm “I’ve got this sorted” demeanour.

It could let those affected know they are not alone, that their community cares and that together we can all make a difference and shift the dial in stopping domestic and family violence.

We just don’t know… but it sure is worth giving it a go.